The very best of L.A. & Orange County

We pick up where we left off with the umbrella. Monique tells Robyn that she probably hopes she does choke her out so that Robyn can sue Monique and have “all her dreams come true.” DAMN. These women are not afraid to go below the belt. Robyn acts innocent and like she didn’t do anything, but we heard her insulting Monique as she was barreling down the sidewalk the whole time. Again, she feigns innocence. Did I mention this all took place at a valet stand?

Candiace and Chris go feed some fish and talk about his children scattered across the country. In addition to his two younger children, he has a 15 year old who he hasn’t spoken to in 10 years (also I’m pretty sure he’s around 30 but that’s a different reality show). Candiace has yet to tell her mother about the 15 year old.

Now we’re at Robyn’s and I’m bored. Juan is forcing his veganism on everyone in the household as his final act of familial terrorism. They’re going to go hang out with the guy who is really Juan’s dad, because the guy who he thought was his dad his whole life really isn’t. His mom never told about her fling and then she died. They have a medium coming to talk to them so they can talk to Juan’s mom and the guy who stole all their money and then killed himself. She says Monique bringing up that she’s broke reminded her of what they went through with their shitty thief friend, and she thinks that talking to the medium will help sort all of this mess out. Robyn, you’re going to need more than a medium to sort that shit out.

Now we’re at Karen’s pretend house while she assembles her famous muffins and Monique comes over to apologize for freaking the fuck out at her stench- sorry- scent party. Monique announces her plans to bring supplies to Hurricane Harvey victims.

Candiace and her mom meet at the barbecue place Chris works at (surprise, surprise) for more discount ribs, and Candiace is getting ready to drop the bomb on her about the 15-year-old. Apparently the son lives close by and the mother won’t let him see him, and I’d be curious to know why. Candiace’s mom takes it surprisingly well, especially considering she thinks Chris is a big freckly loser.

Gizelle goes and gets her hair done. Her mom lives in Houston and is dealing with Hurricane Harvey and wants to move closer to the Gizelle and the girls. She instructs Gizelle to find a house and buy it for her, and Gizelle feels weird about asking Sherman if she can move in with him since he seems to have recently faked his own death. She cries in a shampoo bowl and her hair stylist seems a little over her shit, but is being supportive nonetheless.

We’re at Monique’s Hurricane Harvey drive and Tharrisse reminds us that nothing in Potomac happens without her, so Monique had to invite her. We get it. You’re super important. These charity drives are important and helpful but I always find them boring. They happen in every franchise, usually in the height of some interpersonal bullshit going on with the ladies so they can say things like: “It’s so great we can set our differences aside and remember what’s really important in life” and then go back to yanking weaves out two hours later. Robyn doesn’t show up and no one cares.

Robyn is at a venue for her “She is Empowered” event that she started and I’m not explaining it because the title does that for you. I’m sure it’ll be a smashing success.

Ashley and Monique meet up to bury the hatchet and agree to make up but both say shady shit about one another in their testimonials, so they can fight about that in the reunion later.

Robyn’s albino medium shows up. He immediately guesses Juan’s mom’s name and she is apparently embarrassed about the way she passed. We find out that she died of AIDS from drug use, which is actually really, really sad. Powder tells them that the man who raised Juan is not his father, and is relieved to find out that they already knew that. Then he sees the friend who stole the money and jumped off the bridge. They ask him why he stole their money and he says that he was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to ask for help. HERE’S AN IDEA: don’t steal people’s shit. Then you don’t need help. Apparently, Earl is still a dick in the afterlife too, because he won’t apologize for what he did and says he’s “content.” Juan’s mom is happy he found his real father and wants Juan and Robyn to get back together because she loves Robyn, and I’m pregnant and hormonal so I’m crying now.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This