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This week, on Real Housewives of Potomac…

For some reason, Carson Kressley has been all over this O’Bullshit event and I can’t figure that one out. Maybe he has an affiliation with the Alzheimer’s Association, because I can’t imagine he’d back Karen’s weird ass Icon Enterprises company. Anyway, Gizelle and Robyn walk in to the party. They make a bee line over to Karen to talk, and immediately she calls security to have them kicked out. Charrisse follows them out to ask what is going on, and they tell her all about how Karen lied to Robyn about her RSVP to the event. Inside, Carson is making a toast and again, what the fuck is going on. Robyn gets mad at Charrisse for going to Monique’s event and not her event, and Charrisse starts to get pissed. Charrisse’s hired date comes outside and looks uncomfortable while he tries to decide if putting up with this bullshit is part of his fee for the evening. Charrisse screams and leaves.

At the party, Karen gives her speech and Monique brings up how shady it is that Karen has them making their checks out to Icon Enterprises (her “company”). Michael nails it and says it’s in the name, “I Con,” and refuses to write a check out to them. It’s probably the most honest and relevant thing he’s ever said.

Candiace and Chris are making cuts to the guest list, and he asks if she’s called her dad yet to ask for more money. Candiace FaceTimes her dad to make the call and starts playing the obnoxious “daddy’s little girl” role. He denies her request for more than $20,000. She refuses to accept that there may be some things she needs to cut out of her wedding plan, like the imported trees.

Gizelle is at home going over her EveryHue product. Gizelle’s intern, Gabby, shows up and from the second she walks in, you can tell she’s a dud. She has about as much energy and charisma as a slightly damp sock.

Ashley is at home and calls her uncle for advice on what to do about Michael. He tells her that Michael is full of shit and that he only wants her as a trophy wife, and that he doesn’t want to be a father. FINALLY someone says to her what I’ve been screaming to the TV for three seasons.

Gizelle meets Ashley for another workout and she, like me, wants them to NOT be doing another stupid workout scene. Karen, Monique, and Candiace go to their own workout class at the same time. Bravo, I think I speak for everyone when I say no one likes to watch Housewives workout.

We jump back and forth between the two groups of women. Gizelle asks why they weren’t making checks out to a charity and why, after three years, there is still no 501[c][3] for said “charity.” One of the producers asks Karen how much she was able to donate after the fundraiser, and she laughs and says she’ll never tell. KAREN. SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR. HE SAYS HIS NAME IS PRISON.

Karen says that she’s known Kyndall for longer than she’s known Gizelle, that she’s friends with both, and she had nothing but innocent intentions when she invited them both to her O’Bullshit charity event. Okay…even though we’ve never seen Kyndall at anything else before and Karen NEVER has innocent intentions.

Of course, Charrisse happens to FaceTime Robyn while her, Gizelle, and Ashley are all filming and talking about this at their workout studio. She wants to get together with Robyn to talk things over. I’m sure that will be a filmed scene, since Charrisse can’t let it go that she’s not actually a Housewife anymore.

Ashley and Candiace meet up at Oz for some shitty Australian food. Candiace complains about how Chris is upset about how she’s treating him during the wedding planning process. Ashley tells her about how Michael doesn’t want to have a child with her yet because he’s afraid she’ll be a shitty mom like hers was. Candiace, in a brief moment of clarity, tells her that maybe he just doesn’t want to have kids and he’s looking for any excuse he can. BINGO. You’ve heard it twice now, Ash. Run.

Robyn meets Charrisse for dinner. Robyn tells Charrisse that she felt like Charrisse just “choosed her side” when she CHOSE to go to Monique’s event over hers. CHOSE, Robyn. Not choosed. Robyn stirs the already boiling pot by asking how Charrisse feels about Monique stealing all of her friends. Both women agree that Monique is a social climber. I will say this: Charrisse drives me insane with her thirst to be on the show, but she has never looked better.

Gizelle goes to the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) to showcase EveryHue.

Karen shows up to Monique’s house to visit, and Monique’s brother Kevin is there as well. I suspect the other 4,000 people living in that house are hiding in the pantry and will emerge at any moment. The women are getting ready to go to the CBC event to hock their own shit. Unclear on what exactly that is. Maybe they’re just going to mingle/film. Monique says she doesn’t know why Charrisse has been avoiding her.

Charrisse shows up (OF COURSE) to the CBC to support Gizelle (aka be in another scene). Karen and Monique bypass EveryHue. Gizelle, Robyn, and Ashley go say hi and confront them for avoiding Gizelle’s booth. Robyn screams at Karen that she’s a liar as Monique and Karen walk away. Candiace shows up and asks what the drama is. The ladies fill her in, and all I can think is that I hope Candiace is a one-season-and-done housewife.

It is now ten hours later, and we arrive at Candiace’s mom’s house. Apparently, in those ten hours, Chris and Candiace have gotten in a fight so big, her ring is off. Chris wants to talk about what went down, and Candiace says that what he said was unforgivable. At the CDC afterparty, Chris implied that she was spoiled and called her a “princess.” This supposedly happened because she asked him to hold a bunch of her shit when his hands were full? I’m not totally clear. Her response to him calling her a princess was a text that said: “You’re a coward and a shitty clone of your deadbeat father and you can fuck off and get the fuck out of my life.” WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. OKAY, so calling you spoiled is “unforgivable” but you can say THAT and it’s okay?? They make up, and he asks her to stop taking her ring off. Just a word of advice to the 3 men who read these posts: if you’re engaged to someone who repeatedly takes off their ring in a fit of rage, maybe don’t marry that person.

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